Posted in Thoughts

Not ALL is fair in love

We’re all familiar with bullying. Be it through personal experience, reading about it in a book, or watching 13 Reasons Why (let’s not even go there), we know what emotional abuse means. And while there is a lot to be said on that topic, what I want to discuss is not bullying, it’s something more specific. Emotional abuse, yes, but at the hands of a loved one.


The number of people, girls in particular, that I’m personally acquainted with, who silently suffer while they are being emotionally abused, is rather shocking. It ranges from extremely mild to simply unacceptable, and even illegal.


One of the most important things people need to know is when you have to stop – stop emotionally blackmailing, stop harassing, stop making someone feel guilty, and so on. It really isn’t a person’s fault if they don’t reciprocate your feelings and making them feel otherwise makes no sense. Not all romantic feelings are two-way, sometimes people just don’t feel the same way as the other person, and newsflash: that’s completely okay.


Taking this one step further, it is also fair to want to stop being in a relationship, especially if you sit down and talk it out, explain to the other person why it isn’t working out for you. “It’s not you, it’s me” is not just something people say to avoid awkward situations where they have to explain their actions. Sometimes it actually is “not you, but me”. I know people who have sincerely believed in a relationship up to a point of time, after which they realised that they weren’t exactly where they wanted to be. Getting out can be tricky, but it’s not a crime. What is, however (not literally, of course), is calling someone two dozen times in a span of an hour. I’m not even exaggerating. Stop spamming people with texts and calls. Demand explanations, but after the final conversation has been had (and you’ll know it, don’t worry), give people their personal space. Calling up someone’s family or friends in an attempt to get in touch with them, is really not the right way of going about things. It causes a whole lot of stress to people who are probably not even involved.


And then there’s downright abuse. Threatening someone, physical violence, that’s just inhuman. A friend of mine, who has been married for the past 5 years, gets beaten up by her husband almost everyday. She’s now carrying a child, but that hasn’t changed anything. True, she could walk out of it and save herself the trauma, but I suppose that is easier said than done. And also besides the point. Why should she even have to walk out of her own house, in the first place?


It saddens me immensely, especially because I know some of these people personally. It’s one thing to read about something in the papers and something entirely different to know people who are the people in the papers. I shudder as I think about how they must feel.


There isn’t much that we can do, or maybe that’s just my bleak outlook. Either way, I knew I couldn’t keep this in, and here’s to hoping that someone reading this will find some help here. If you’re being treated unfairly, please walk out. Do something. Help yourself. Talk to people you trust. I don’t know, I’m a kid myself, but just get out of it, one way or another.



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